Read Helen Butler’s account of the launch of September Woman in September:
I was really honoured to be invited to the launch of September Woman and also to be asked to speak that the event. I felt like a fraud! I am not in the category of September – more like June / July. I have not been married even once, let alone twice. I do not have children, I have not been through the menopause yet and so I wondered what on earth I could share with all these women.
Well, through my own life story I can relate to women who experience any of the following, I can relate to the feelings of not being good enough, of not feeling worthy enough, of spending a lifetime looking after the needs of others often at the expense of myself.
I can recount story after story of how I have helped my friends meet the man of their dreams, where did it leave me however, single and sometimes alone at the weekends and Saturday nights while they were out on couples nights or snuggled up to their loved one.
Then what about the workplace. I had always done OK, I had slowly climbed the career ladder, working really hard, getting paid really little and slowly getting promoted. I felt if I helped more, did more then I would get further – wrong!! I felt if I knew more and learnt more, I would get promoted faster and be more competent – wrong!! I felt if I worked my way up and was paid less people would expect less – wrong!!
As a woman I can relate to pleasing others and putting their needs first be it at home, in the workplace or in relationships. It was always far more important to me to keep others happy instead of making myself happy. If I was honest and this still happens now – I did not know what I wanted and daring to express my wants and needs – I just didn’t even know where to start!!
To the point I have had to go on a big personal development journey, I was miserable and knew something had to change. I had to learn about me, clearing blocks, beliefs that were holding me back. To look more positively, to speak more positively, to act more positively.
I learnt NLP, many holistic therapies, have tried all kinds of retreats and therapies. It was when I started to understand and work more with the feminine and energy that I really started to see big shifts, when I started to become present with myself, to understand my own feelings and to honour these, to understand the feminine and what this meant for me, to understand how my energy could be projected onto another.
I knew I had to make changes, I started to dress differently wearing what felt good to me, I knew I had to leave my current job as I was just finding it stressful and regardless of how many excuses I came up with and reframing of how it was serving a purpose, there were some good things, I was on a constant rollercoaster and it was making me miserable and when I was finally honest with myself, I had to say it is serving one purpose and one purpose only and that is to pay the bills!!
When I sat down and thought about it, did I want to live my whole life and the legacy I had to leave was I went to work, earnt my money and paid my bills, paid off my mortgage and had a nice pension? No was my definite answer, I wanted to live, I wanted to live a life that I loved and one where I could work towards fulfilling my dreams.
What I have learnt from my training and work with my feminine and then working with other women, is when they connect to themselves and their power, they know what they want, they can honour their feelings and also they come from a very heart centred place, where they think not just about themselves, but about others, they look to connect, to nurture, to sustain, to bring love, joy, beauty and passion into those around them and all that they do.
The ripple effect that each and every woman can have from bringing that to herself, to her family, to her colleagues, to her community, to her dreams etc is phenomenal. So I ask each and every woman to just honour amazing, beautiful woman that she is. To honour the feelings that she has and to use these as a guide and to use her big and beautiful heart to love herself first as she deserves it.
I had the privilege of meeting many nurses at the launch night and it saddened me to hear that they have such a passion inside them to actually be serving sick people, to really help them to heal and look after them when they are vulnerable, yet the system that has been created of paperwork, bureaucracy, incorrect staffing levels and all the things that take them away from what they know to be true, what they know needs to change is blocking them from making a difference.
I hope that this changes because not only will that make a difference to them and the work they do and how they do it, but also imagine all those patients who are tended to with love, care and passion while they are sick. That in itself is healing!! I hope that this passion they have is not squashed and their overriding love to serve in the way they know will best help eventually wins out.
So to all those women out there your amazing, let your true light shine xxx
This blog and many other interesting pieces can be found on Helen’s website Feminine and Fabulous.